On Unnecessary Gendering

Growing and doing better

I started Restrained Grace 2 years ago with a limited scope and not nearly as much intention as I have today. My designs have always been very femme, however, I ascribed tradtitional gender roles to a lot of my products in their titles and descriptions at the time, as that was what I was comfortable and familiar with. As I've made an effort to do better as a human, and also as a business owner, I have moved away from that as my "default." In my circle of a few years ago, I only knew male Doms and female subs. I knew that wasn't all there was, but I wasn't in a hurry to make products for people without knowing who they are and what they want.

In the past few years I have made an effort to grow and learn, and I have slowly been adding more products for all kinds of people to the shop, without ascribing gender to them. I still have a long way to go, I still need more feedback from femme D-types, nonbinary folk, and masculine s-types. There is a glorious world of kinksters out there of all shapes, sizes, colors, and genders, and I am happy to make products for everyone, but as a designer I refuse to "force" products out just to gain mass-appeal. And by that I mean: I am working harder all the time to be inclusive, but I will not make slap-dash or lazy designs in order to appeal to everyone. Restrained Grace, for me, is about quality and style, and I won't compromise either in a rush to make something for everyone.

Earlier this year I rebranded, removing my heavily pink and floral motifs in favor of classic and classy branding that isn't inherently feminine. I also announced I am making an effort to remove unnecessary gendering from my product descriptions and any other text throughout my blog and website, however, it’s a huge undertaking to rewrite all of my content, and it’s taking longer than I would prefer. As Restrained Grace grows and more and more new shoppers find me, I know that coming across unneccesary gendering can be off-putting. But I want you to know that I am working on it. As a small business owner who also works a full-time job, finding the balance between life and work is even more difficult. Especially when I have so many projects to work on, split across multiple brands. I just want you to know that this is a priority for me, and that all new products I add will be gender-free.

If you have the time and energy, when you come across something of this nature on my site, please send me an email at restrainegrace@gmail.com to let me know, and I will fix it right away.

Thank you for your patience and your supprt.

-Miss Annie

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Miss Annie is lifestyle submissive, kinkster, and blogger. She designs and creates kink gear, jewelry, art prints, and everything else you find in our shop, and writes about D/s in an effort to spread awareness.



1 comment


  • Teeny

    I love everything about your site/your unique bdsm items! Keep up the beautiful work!


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