Self Owned Origins
We started the Self Owned Sub Club in 2018 as a way to encourage and support single submissives who were missing the structure of D/s in their lives. The original concept was simple: handle your shit, tag it #selfownedsubclub on instagram, and we'd pick one entry at random to win a $75 gift card. It was honestly kinda rad. We had single submissives all over the world sharing their post workout selfies, their clean bedrooms and kitchens, their cooking endeavors, all things that improved their physical and mental health, all things that might be included as rules and protocol in a D/s dynamic.
As our community in the Restrained Grace Back Room on Facebook has grown, and the conversations have become richer and deeper, it's become apparent that not only is self care under-utilized by single submissives, but there were other areas of self-improvement that could help folks make healthier choices for themselves.
A major example of this is self love. I've heard enough stories of folks who set the bar very, very low. I've been one of those people. My standards were about on par with my self-esteem, my self-worth. So I wasn't choosing healthy relationships..
I've heard enough stories of folks describing abusive, neglectful partners and asking "Is this normal for D/s?"
I've heard enough of folks describing abusive, neglectful partners and stating "I know this is the best I can do."
But it's not normal. And we all deserve better.