Our Definition

the party who has the authority in a BDSM power exchange dynamic or scene. Often shortened to Dom or Domme.

Often times conflated with Top, which is a separate (though often overlapping) concept.

Real Life Examples

Philbert is naturally inclined towards leadership, and prefers to be given some degree of control or authority in his intimate relationships.

Wanda likes to have full control over what happens during scenes which she participates in. 

Common Practices

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common practices for dominant individuals include, but certainly aren't limited to:

  • Having a preferred form of protocol and/or preferred title (i.e. “Madame” “Your Grace” or “The Right Honorable Gentleman”)
  • Using a “Dom(me) Voice”
  • Keeping a key, often to open a functional lock worn by a partner. 

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Got a beef with our definition?

Of course we don't speak for everyone! If you feel we are missing additional info, context, facts, history, or data, please email us and let us know!

While we can't promise every suggestion will make it, we'll always be working to keep this glossary thorough and inclusive!