Vanilla

Our Definition

conventional sexual behavior, relationship styles, or personal preferences; lacking in BDSM, kink, or fetishism.



Real Life Examples

Harold is monogamous, with a conventional relationship style, and prefers to have sex in the missionary position for procreative purposes.

Tiffanie tried out some kinky behaviors, like fuzzy handcuffs, but ultimately decided that she prefers vanilla sex. 

Common Practices

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common vanilla practices include, but certainly aren't limited to:

  • No form of (acknowledged) power exchange or hierarchy involved in one’s intimate relationships.
  • Preferring sex that is considered “normal” and will not raise any eyebrows. 
  • Lack of involvement in the BDSM community 

Got a beef with our definition?

Of course we don't speak for everyone! If you feel we are missing additional info, context, facts, history, or data, please email us and let us know!


While we can't promise every suggestion will make it, we'll always be working to keep this glossary thorough and inclusive!