Common Practices & Experiences
- Being a sanctimonious jerk.
- Viewing people who practice BDSM differently as inferior or fake.
- Putting a moral judgement on neutral things that are a matter of personal taste (such as being accepting of people who engage with flogging but shunning people who prefer electro-play, or uplifting brats/brat-tamers while denigrating service oriented dominants and submissives.)
- Broad, over-generalized statements of what “real dominants” or “real submissives” are like.
- Enforcing rules or regulations in kink spaces that alienate members of the community.
- Creating an atmosphere where conformity is necessary in order to be part of a community.
Roland’s dynamic with their dominant does not include the protocols that are popular in his local kink scene, which has led to criticism and questioning of his identity, ultimately making him feel like he doesn’t belong in the community.