Our Definition

a necklace, piece of jewelry, or choker that is usually worn around the neck and is symbolic of the wearer’s relationship with BDSM. Frequently denotes ownership. May be given from one partner to another to represent meaning in their dynamic / relationship, or given to one’s self. Can be made of leather, various metals, or other materials.

Common Practices & Experiences

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common practices involving collars include, but certainly aren't limited to:
  • Talking with one’s partner about the meaning that a collar could have to you, and agreeing on what it symbolizes before shopping for one.
  • Incorporating the putting on and taking off of a collar into one’s rituals, either for day-to-day life or for specific scenes. 

Tulip is single but wears a collar to bed every day to represent their submissive identity.

Amara’s partner puts a collar on her during scenes and removes it afterwards.
Jorge never takes off his collar, which was given to him by his partner as a symbol of commitment to their D/s dynamic. Jorge considers his collar as important as his wedding ring.

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Real Life Examples

We're gathering short anecdotes on this topic from experienced kinksters!
If you'd like to be quoted in our glossary, please email us a single paragraph describing the practices you'd like to share, along with whatever name you'd like to be credited with.
If your definition differs from ours, tell us how and why! We want to illustrate as many sides of kink as we can to both normalize kink and the diversity within it.

Recent Glossary Entries


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