Our Definition
a necklace, piece of jewelry, or choker that is usually worn around the neck and is symbolic of the wearer’s relationship with BDSM. Frequently denotes ownership. May be given from one partner to another to represent meaning in their dynamic / relationship, or given to one’s self. Can be made of leather, various metals, or other materials.
Common Practices & Experiences
Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common practices involving collars include, but certainly aren't limited to:
- Talking with one’s partner about the meaning that a collar could have to you, and agreeing on what it symbolizes before shopping for one.
- Incorporating the putting on and taking off of a collar into one’s rituals, either for day-to-day life or for specific scenes.
Tulip is single but wears a collar to bed every day to represent their submissive identity.
Amara’s partner puts a collar on her during scenes and removes it afterwards.
Jorge never takes off his collar, which was given to him by his partner as a symbol of commitment to their D/s dynamic. Jorge considers his collar as important as his wedding ring.
1 comment
Pidge
My collars are so many things to me, and I have several because I always have to have the perfect one for an ensemble or mood. I’m the same way about wedding rings, but my collars mean more to me than my rings do.
I thought for a long time about precisely why that is. I’m not owned, nor am I a submissive. I’m a Switch, and I take on a dominant role in both my relationships, holding my wife and boyfriend accountable to the goals they set for themselves and acting as breadwinner and head of household for my wife. The collars were ostensibly for play.
But something about them once they arrived, it spoke to me. A collar is a reminder of my connection to the people I care about. A reminder of how strong that bond is, and how it goes beyond a vanilla bond. It is a but of a thunder shirt, a calming feeling when stressed as well as a reminder that I am loved. And with a collection of tags, it can suit any mood I happen to be in.