Our Definition

refers to a genderless person, whose identity does not fall anywhere on the “gender spectrum” 

Common Practices & Experiences 

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common practices and experiences for agender people include, but certainly aren't limited to:
  • Use of they/them pronouns 
  • Use of any pronouns 
  • Viewing presentation and dress as separate from the concept of gender. 
  • Presenting in a wide variety of ways.
  • Feelings connected to “otherness” and identifying with related concepts such as aliens or fantasy races who have entirely different cultural mores. 
  • Not identifying with “androgyny” or “middle of the gender spectrum” and feeling uncomfortable in instances where that is the expectation.
  • Only realizing in adulthood that gender is not a performance for all people. 

Thia does not identify with gender or the gender spectrum. They have always felt a sense of “otherness” and the concept of gender in general feels somewhat alien and confusing.

For Layla, gender has always felt like a performance, which has no internal anchor. They are often mistaken for their assigned gender but they do not identify with it.

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Real Life Examples

We're gathering short anecdotes on this topic from experienced kinksters!
If you'd like to be quoted in our glossary, please email us a single paragraph describing the practices you'd like to share, along with whatever name you'd like to be credited with.
If your definition differs from ours, tell us how and why! We want to illustrate as many sides of kink as we can to both normalize kink and the diversity within it.

Recent Glossary Entries


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