Our Definition

a style of polyamory that values personal independence, typically avoiding relationships that include entanglements such as sharing finances, housing, or marriage.

Common Practices & Experiences 

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common practices and experiences involving solo polyamory include, but certainly aren't limited to:
  • Communicating one’s needs and boundaries with partners from early on. 
  • Being upfront and honest about not wanting to engage with the “relationship escalator”
  • Having long term partners that live separately, sometimes long-distance.
  • Preferring to keep romances casual. 
  • Valuing personal space and autonomy. 

Kaia lives alone and does not want a nesting partner. She is fulfilled by her relationships with Ursula and Lari, who are a nesting couple that Kaia visits regularly.

Ned has a long term partner who lives in another city, and also enjoys casually dating others. He avoids entanglements because he wants the freedom to make big decisions based on what would suit him best, without having to factor partners into the equation.
Jan needs lots of time to themself, and living alone is the best way to get that need met. They have a healthy dynamic with their submissive, who respect their need for independence. 

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Real Life Examples

We're gathering short anecdotes on this topic from experienced kinksters!
If you'd like to be quoted in our glossary, please email us a single paragraph describing the practices you'd like to share, along with whatever name you'd like to be credited with.
If your definition differs from ours, tell us how and why! We want to illustrate as many sides of kink as we can to both normalize kink and the diversity within it.

Recent Glossary Entries


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