Our Definition

conventional sexual behavior, relationship styles, or personal preferences; lacking in BDSM, kink, or fetishism.

Common Practices

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common vanilla practices include, but certainly aren't limited to:
  • No form of (acknowledged) power exchange or hierarchy involved in one’s intimate relationships.
  • Preferring sex that is considered “normal” and will not raise any eyebrows. 
  • Lack of involvement in the BDSM community 

Harold is monogamous, with a conventional relationship style, and prefers to have sex in the missionary position for procreative purposes.

Tiffany tried out some kinky behaviors, like fuzzy handcuffs, but ultimately decided that she prefers vanilla sex. 

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Real Life Examples

We're gathering short anecdotes on this topic from experienced kinksters!
If you'd like to be quoted in our glossary, please email us a single paragraph describing the practices you'd like to share, along with whatever name you'd like to be credited with.
If your definition differs from ours, tell us how and why! We want to illustrate as many sides of kink as we can to both normalize kink and the diversity within it.

Recent Glossary Entries


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