Our Definition

the party who has the authority in a BDSM power exchange dynamic or scene. Often shortened to Dom or Domme.

Often conflated with Top, which is a separate (though often overlapping) concept.

Common Practices

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common practices for dominant individuals include, but certainly aren't limited to:
  • Having a preferred form of protocol and/or preferred title (i.e. “Madame” “Your Grace” or “The Right Honorable Gentleman”)
  • Using a “Dom(me) Voice”
  • Keeping a key, often to open a functional lock worn by a partner. 

Phil is naturally inclined towards leadership, and prefers to be given some degree of control or authority in his intimate relationships.

Wanda likes to have full control over what happens during scenes which she participates in. 

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Real Life Examples

We're gathering short anecdotes on this topic from experienced kinksters!
If you'd like to be quoted in our glossary, please email us a single paragraph describing the practices you'd like to share, along with whatever name you'd like to be credited with.
If your definition differs from ours, tell us how and why! We want to illustrate as many sides of kink as we can to both normalize kink and the diversity within it.

Recent Glossary Entries


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