Fake Dom

Fake Dom

also known as Clueless Horny Dom Wannabe (CHDW) or Tumblr Dom

Our Definition

A disparaging term for someone who has recently joined the kink community, usually online, seeking sex partners, often displaying disrespectful behavior, such as the expectation that s-types to submit to them just because they call themselves a Dominant. 

Common Practices & Experiences

Everyone is different (Even jerks)! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common Fake Dom practices include, but certainly aren't limited to:
  • Being rude and presumptuous 
  • A level of cluelessness about real life and how a power exchange dynamic could realistically be incorporated into one’s real life (I.e. “You won’t be allowed clothes and you will sleep in a dog bed, because I say so” [ never mind that you have a full time job where clothing is expected, and a health condition that would be worsened by sleeping on a dog bed.])
Kyle is a jerk to his girlfriend. He thinks this makes him dominant. It does not.

Bradley sends messages to strangers on the internet and expects automatic submission, without first doing any negotiating, nor acquiring consent. Bradley is an Asshole. Don’t be like Bradley.

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Real Life Examples

We're gathering short anecdotes on this topic from experienced kinksters!
If you'd like to be quoted in our glossary, please email us a single paragraph describing the practices you'd like to share, along with whatever name you'd like to be credited with.
If your definition differs from ours, tell us how and why! We want to illustrate as many sides of kink as we can to both normalize kink and the diversity within it.

Recent Glossary Entries


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